cheer up

well it was the easiest thing for me to get up and be all enthusiastic about life. I could not understand why people worry, hate, fight and choose to be unhappy. And today I feel depressed all the time, nothing makes me happy. Guilty is what I feel. Guilty of not being able to change the circumstances of my son. Whom I love so much.. I always was the excellent student, daughter, sister, employee but lost the most important and valued of title of being a good mother. I am trying to escape from the reality and keeping myself unnecessarily entangled in worldly interactions while my son is moving away from me. Autism defeated me, it has killed me from inside, I feel unable to face my husband my kids. They deserved someone much better than me.